Coaching Into Care — For Family Members
Coaching Into Care (1-888-823-7458) is a free VA service for family members and friends concerned about a veteran. It helps concerned loved ones figure out how to support a veteran who may be struggling, understand the VA system, and encourage a veteran to connect with care. It is specifically designed for the people around a veteran, not for the veteran directly.
For Families and Friends
Coaching Into Care: 1-888-823-7458
Free, confidential VA service for family members and friends. Licensed psychologists and social workers provide phone-based coaching on how to support a veteran and navigate the VA system.
Who Coaching Into Care Serves
Coaching Into Care is designed for the people around a veteran:
- Spouses and partners
- Parents
- Adult children
- Siblings
- Extended family
- Close friends
- Clergy and community members supporting a veteran
The service is NOT for veterans themselves — veterans should use the Veterans Crisis Line (988, press 1), the Vet Center Call Center (1-877-WAR-VETS), or enroll in VA care directly.
What Coaching Into Care Offers
Licensed psychologists and social workers provide:
- Guidance on how to talk to a veteran about mental health, substance use, or other concerns
- Strategies for encouraging a veteran to seek VA care when they are reluctant
- Information about VA services available to the veteran
- Help understanding military culture and transition issues
- Support for family members experiencing their own stress as a result of the veteran's struggles
- Safety planning guidance if the family member is concerned about suicide risk
How It Works
Coaching Into Care is phone-based. When you call:
- A responder answers and may collect basic information (your name, the veteran's basic info, your relationship)
- Depending on urgency, you may be connected to a coach immediately or scheduled for a follow-up call
- Ongoing coaching typically consists of several calls over weeks or months, as needed
- The coach helps you develop a specific plan for your situation
- Services are free and there is no time limit on how many times you can call
Common Situations Coaching Into Care Addresses
- A veteran who refuses to get help: How to raise concerns without triggering defensiveness, when to escalate, when to back off
- A veteran showing signs of PTSD or depression: How to identify warning signs, what to say, how to encourage care
- A veteran with substance use concerns (including cannabis): How to approach concerns without moral judgment
- A veteran at possible suicide risk: Warning signs to take seriously, safety planning, when to call 911, when to call the Veterans Crisis Line
- A veteran with combat trauma: Understanding what your veteran experienced and how to support them without forcing disclosure
- A family in crisis: Caring for yourself as a family member is also part of the process
When to Call Coaching Into Care vs. the Crisis Line
- Call 988 (press 1) — Veterans Crisis Line if the veteran is in immediate danger, has expressed suicidal thoughts, or is experiencing a psychiatric emergency
- Call Coaching Into Care (1-888-823-7458) if you are a family member looking for longer-term coaching on how to support a veteran who may be struggling but is not in immediate crisis
- Both are free, both are confidential, both are staffed by people trained to help. If you are unsure which to call, call either one — they can refer you to the other if appropriate.
Cannabis-Specific Concerns for Families
Family members of veterans who use cannabis often have specific worries:
- Is cannabis use a sign of a deeper problem?
- Is cannabis use disorder developing?
- Will cannabis use cost the veteran their VA benefits? (No — see benefits page)
- Should I try to get my veteran to stop using cannabis?
- How do I bring this up without triggering conflict?
Coaching Into Care can help with all of these. Coaches are familiar with cannabis use in veterans, understand the relationship between cannabis and PTSD self-medication, and can help family members approach conversations in ways that are more likely to lead to change than to conflict.
Important: You Cannot Force a Veteran Into Care
One of the hardest things about supporting a struggling veteran is that you generally cannot force them into treatment. VA cannot compel treatment, family members cannot compel treatment, and even courts rarely compel mental health treatment except in narrow crisis situations. Coaching Into Care helps family members understand this and focus on what they can do:
- Express concern clearly and without attack
- Provide accurate information about available services
- Remain available when the veteran is ready to engage
- Take care of your own mental health while supporting someone else
- Know when to call for help (crisis line, 911, or family intervention services)
Caring for Yourself as a Family Member
Supporting a veteran struggling with PTSD, substance use, or other mental health challenges takes a toll on family members. Secondary traumatic stress, caregiver burnout, and compassion fatigue are real. Coaching Into Care can help you identify your own needs and find support, which may include:
- Family therapy at a Vet Center or VA medical center
- Your own mental health care through community providers
- Family support groups for veteran caregivers
- Respite care if you are a primary caregiver